


Bitter.

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Blood, Crying, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sparring, keith convinces shiro to fight and goes too far
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 13:28:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8373937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Shiro just desperately wants to feel normal again.





	

Shiro's fist met Keith's cheek with a resounding, grounding crack. Keith had never felt more alive, the adrenaline pumping through his veins as he opened his mouth, reaching out for Shiro's arm, to tug him back for more. 

_That's right, Shiro! Keep going, hit me harder,"_ wavered andstuck in the back of his throat. He'd egged Shiro on since that morning, cornering him in the hallways, insisting he didn't have to feel like this. There were more ways than just crying in the middle of the night to help the issue. Keith wanted to spar with no boundaries, without holding back. Shiro had hesitated, but after their last meal of the day, he had agreed to a round of training. With just a one, simple rule: no one got fatally hurt.

It had started out innocently enough. Almost like a dance, a fist thrown that was easily deflected, a swipe towards Keith's legs that he easily jumped back from. They moved together perfectly, on par with each other and gentle enough for the moment, for practice. Soon Keith's mouth was running, making subtle pries into Shiro's past. He made comments on those fresh memories, pointing out how shitty they were. How unfair life had been for Shiro, how he must have been angry at it all. How it must have been eating him out from the inside, and how he refused to talk about it. How Shiro deserved better.

Shiro hadn't said anything in return, instead just swallowing hard as he focused on Keith's movements. It was easy enough to drown out the distractions and keep to himself, but the longer Keith talked, the harder it was to ignore it all. It wasn't very long before past and present melded together and Shiro grew a little more desperate in his movements, hitting a little harder and more forcefully as he fell into a proper stance. 

Keith mirrored him without hesitation, and they continued their sparring well into the evening. They considered the round over when one managed to get knocked over, or just simply needed a moment to breathe if they'd been going for a while. Their wins had been about the same on both sides, though exhaustion was starting to show. That had been when Keith gotten careless. Lazy. It wasn't like he cared, though. Shiro knew well enough he liked this both in the bedroom and out, though that reaction from nailing Keith in the cheek wasn't right. So Keith stopped, reaching up to rub some blood away from his lip. 

"Hey," he murmured, reaching out to rub Shiro's shoulder. "Hey, babe, I'm sorry, we can stop..." 

Shiro was shaking, but he nodded in response. From the way he was holding his right hand, Keith could only assume Shiro had accidentally hit him with it. No wonder it had hurt so damn much. He sighed, shaking his head as he brought Shiro into a hug. 

"I'm sorry, baby...I didn't mean to make you do anything you were uncomfortable with doing. You just...you needed the distraction, you know? You can't be all super nice guy all the time. Humans just don't work like that." His words sounded weak. Keith was a sham, and standing there in that moment with Shiro in his arms, he really felt bad about the situation. He had _wanted_ this. He wanted Shiro to hit him, for as sick as that sounded. He wanted Shiro to be able to punch and hit something and find some sort of stress relief in that. After all, it was something Keith did to help himself...but he was stupid for thinking Shiro would be like him, though. Shiro never had been. They would spar back in their Garrison days, late at night and eventually falling into a pile of sappy limbs, but that was never something Shiro pursued outside of Keith. 

"I just want it stop," piped up Shiro's voice, soft and quiet as it buried itself into Keith's shoulder. It sounded like it was being torn apart, and that was the moment Keith realized he'd gone too far. It was time to stop. 

"Shh...come on, let's go back to my room," Keith murmured, his hands gently rubbing Shiro's shoulders and the base of his neck where it got tense. Shiro nodded quietly in response, his grip around Keith's waist going slack after a few beats. "Come on," Keith said, wrapping Shiro's arm around his shoulders, a steadying arm around his waist as they slowly made their way back to Keith's room. 

Almost immediately Shiro was on Keith's bed as they walked past the door, sighing heavily as his head met the pillow. "All things aside, you're still really good at that," he managed to laugh, looking over at Keith with a faint smile. "I remember that was always your favorite class, self defense...I'm a lot bigger now, and you can still kick my ass." Shiro's face twisted into something unpleasant as he spoke, and Keith's stomach fell to the floor. He wandered slowly over to his bed, wringing his hands out awkwardly in front of himself as he sat upon the edge. 

Shiro's human hand was gripped his Galran arm so tight his knuckles were white, and his face had settled into something like a pout. A pout mixed with pain, fear, anger and sadness. 

"I miss those days," Shiro said, his voice lacking the usual depth it held. It was flat and emotionless, and it made Keith's heart ache as he stared down at the bed. 

"Voltron is great. Voltron is _wonderful,_ but do you ever think about what could have happened? If I had come back home after Kerberos, and you were still at the Garrison, probably well on your way or already a fighter pilot...do you ever just think..." His voice shook, and Keith's shoulders slumped as he reached out for Shiro's hand, curling his fingers gently around it. 

At the very least, Shiro turned his hand up to curl his fingers around Keith's, squeezing them tight. "It's hard. I didn't know what to expect when I came back to Earth. I didn't know if I'd expect you to be there, or if I would be by myself...it's a wonder and a miracle I had even managed to get so close to the Garrison again. In the end, I'm glad it was you who found me, considering the things they probably wanted to do with me, but...but do you just wish that had never happened?" Shiro's voice cracked, laced with a desperation Keith had yet to hear in such a gentle voice. 

Keith nodded silently, a gesture Shiro probably hadn't seen. His gaze was locked with the wall, unblinking, remembering. 

"You were right, Keith...what you said in the gym was right. It was unfair. I hated every moment of it. I hate that only I made it out alive, that Matt and Pidge's father are still out there. It should have been them who made it back, not me. Not me..." Shiro shook his head, turning onto his side. He buried his face into the pillow, though his hand never let go of Keith's. Its grip only tightened, and Keith took that as an invitation to kick off his boots and slide down behind Shiro, hugging him close with his free arm. 

"In a way, it all opened up the opportunity for whatever this is. More often than not lately, though, I wish things were simpler. I wish the Galra would burn. I wish you and I could have our happy ending after we graduated. Moving out to do whatever we wanted, staying with the Garrison if that was what we wanted...I was so determined to stay with you. I was determined to keep my promise to you. That I would come back, that we would be happy together..." 

"Shh," Keith whispered, scooting up to press a soft kiss to the back of Shiro's neck. "It's all right, Shiro," he murmured, rubbing the man's chest as he felt it heave with choked sobs. "I know it isn't what you wanted, but we're together, right...? Something in the universe wanted us together, and you came back to me, so here we are...here we are, Shiro. We're together..." 

He inwardly kicked himself, but his awkward and clumsy words seemed to help soothe Shiro's nerves. He took a large, deep breath, moving to hold Keith's other hand against his chest before slowly nodding. 

"I know," Shiro muttered, curling just slightly into himself. "I know. You're the only thing keeping me grounded here, Keith. You're the only thing that still feels and smells like home. And god, I missed home." His voice broke again, and he couldn't hold back the tears any longer. He buried his face into Keith's palm, holding it close to his face as his body convulsed with ugly, ugly tears. Keith couldn't blame him, though, and he definitely couldn't pull back. He wrapped himself around Shiro as best as he could, tucking his nose behind the man's ear, whispering soft nothings to him as he cried and _cried._

Small reassurances and little promises were what Keith whispered, well into the night until Shiro calmed down and found himself once again in their comfortable little reality, inside the safe space of Keith's room. He'd dimmed the lights long ago, the subtle red glow from around the ceiling offering the only possibility of seeing each other. They had readjusted themselves, face to face instead of spooning so Keith could wipe those tears away. So Keith could kiss Shiro gently and tenderly, so he could cradle Shiro's face and reassure him everything was okay. 

Shiro fell asleep like that, nestled against Keith's chest, his breathing even and steady. They could have benefited from changing into their pajamas, but Keith hadn't wanted to make Shiro move anymore than he had to. This was fine, anyway. It wasn't like Keith was much of a sleeper, but that was okay. He stroked Shiro's head, brushing his bangs back slowly as he watched the man sleep, safe in his arms. 

Back in the day, it used to be Shiro who comforted Keith. Not much really got to him, truth be told. Keith just spaced out a lot, focusing on his schoolwork and Shiro more than he focused on the others. Every once in a while, something came around that would hit him hard, though. Someone's birthday that went over the top when all of their gifts from their family arrived, or the family itself came to visit. Someone with their snarky, choice words about Shiro or himself that Keith didn't take too kindly to. Even something as simple as a mood swing and Shiro was there, opening his arms for Keith to fall into and stay for as long as he needed to be there. 

Things were different these days, though, but Keith didn't have the heart to complain about it. If anything, he was proud of them. He was proud of Shiro for being able to open up about this and talk about it, to be able to live with it and still be able to lead Voltron for all of them. Keith was just so proud of how strong Shiro was, how strong he'd become, and he was proud to be his rock. 

Keith leaned down to nuzzle Shiro's soft, white hair, breathing its scent as he closed his eyes. "Keith loves you, baby."


End file.
